Brian

The story of Brian is a pretty decent one.

Another one of my drunken nights led me to meeting Brian after the bar. For some questionable drunk reason I chose to speak to him in a British accent for the entirety of our meeting. Somehow he was charmed by my shitty accent and asked me to get drunken food at a RESTAURANT. Happily, I accepted knowing that I’d get a decent and FREE drunk meal, so off we went.

During our drunken meal I could not keep the act up, my crappy British accent had turned into a crappy broken British accent. 

I did whatever any drunk girl faking an accent would do — I asked every drunk person in the bathrooms what to do. Needless to say the verdict was to confess, and that I did by saying “I’ll do a Canadian accent for the rest of the night”. Eventually he said he knew I was not British by the amount of times I had asked him what he would do if I did not have an accent.

We eventually moved to my place where we had unreal sex. The only exception to this sex was that he had a H U M O N G O U S PENIS. Now I have had my fair share of large dick and this guy takes the gold medal in every category. We had to break at first because it could not fit completely inside me without a pain that was worse than my hymen breaking for the first (and only?) time.

The next morning when I woke up to the tanned, skater boy that Brian was I treated him to morning head – in return for the expensive drunken meal, and being so well-endowed.